Here’s a story I did on Kris Harris, a father of three, a husband, a high school career counsellor and a part-time concession stand worker at the Film Forum. I followed his life for two months and here are some photos, and a written profile about him.
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Kris Harris tries to have a conversation with his wife, while looking after their three children.
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Wedding photo of Kris Harris and his wife Kris at their wedding in Tortolla.
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Kris and his 11month old son, Sidney.
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An assortment of childrens’ toys at Kris Harris’ home.
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Spending time with his sons, Ben and Joshua, at Elephant Park in Crown Heights, Brooklyn.
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Kris playing at Elephant Park in Crown Heights, Brooklyn with his sons Joshua and Sidney.
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Kris with his youngest son, Sidney.
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Some of Kris’ teaching tool kit at the Bronx International High School.
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Kris teaching at Bronx International High School.
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Kris teaching a resume class at Bronx International High School.
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Kris talking to two of his students at Bronx International High School.
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Kris counting change at his second job, at the Film Forum in SoHo.
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Kris catching up with an old friend while working at the Film Forum in SoHo.
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Kris Harris working at the concession stand at the Film Forum.
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Kris and a co-worker at the Film Forum.
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An exterior shot of the Film Forum, where Kris works part-time.
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Kris feeding his youngest son, Sidney, at home. His wife, Kristen, is feeding their other sons, Joshua and Ben, in the background.
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Kris showing his son Ben how to write his name.
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Kris and his wife showing the sometimes difficult side of parenting – laying down some rules.
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A close up of Kris and Sidney.
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One of Kris’ sons’ robot toys on the floor.
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Kris at home, slightly exhausted, with Joshua and Ben.
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Some of Kris’ sons’ reading materials.
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Kris negotiating bed time stories on his iPad.
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Kris tucking in Joshua and Ben after a long day.
Dec 16 – With his five-year-old son tugging on his grey sweat pants, Kristoffer Harris is trying to have a conversation with his wife, who also has an 11-month-old tucked under her arm. At the same time, their three-year-old son launches a lime green ball in the air from the other side of the room. With the finesse of father who is used to multi-tasking, Kristoffer Harris continues the conversation with his wife, all while kicking the ball back to his son.
Kristoffer married his high school sweetheart, Kristen Harris, in 2006 and soon after they started a family. They have three boys, five-year-old Joshua, three-year-old Ben, and 11-month-old Sidney. Kristoffer said he was born to be a dad, and he’s the happiest when he’s a father.
“I feel like it’s what I was made for. It feels very natural. I feel like I lucked out to have three boys.” Kristoffer said. “Now I’ve got my team that is literally mine. It’s of me, they are me, and I’m molding them. I’m being a coach all day 24 hours a day.”
Both Kristoffer and Kristen say they come from somewhat dysfunctional families. They also said their complicated family roots pushed them to be supportive and functional parents for their own children. Kristen’s father was largely absent in her life, and whenever he was around, he was often fighting with her mother. Kristoffer’s father had five children with four different women, and Kristoffer said he too was absent during his childhood.
The Harris family lives in Crown Heights, Brooklyn and Kristoffer works two jobs to help provide for the family. Returning to a job he had in his twenties, Kristoffer works one night a week at the concession stand at the Film Forum. He said it’s a way to bring in some extra income for his family.
Kristoffer’s primary job is a career counselor at the Bronx International High School. He helps coordinate a student internship program between students at the school and organizations accepting student interns in New York. This school is aimed at serving the needs of newly immigrated students and their families. Bronx International High School accepts students who score below the 20th percentile on the Language Assessment Battery, and have been in the country for fewer than four years. Kristoffer said this is a challenging environment to teach in, but it makes him feel fulfilled.
“I’ve always been good at helping other people say what they want to say. And helping them understand it, and translate their feelings into action or into coherent thoughts and words.” Kristoffer said.
Kristen agrees, she said that Kristoffer is a very talented teacher because he possesses a natural charisma and ability that shines in teaching. “You can’t teach somebody how to do youth work, and how to relate and connect. But he is able to find a commonality and connect very well. I think better than most people.” She said.
The couple have known each other since high school. With their similar first names, they affectionately label their relationship, “The Kris.” It’s an accurate description of how connected they are. Kristoffer characterized their relationship as easy, as if they always fit together. He said they never had to try too hard to get along.
Kristen is from Hartford, Connecticut where she attending Farmington High School, and Kristoffer attended boarding school nearby at Loomis-Chaffee School. Introduced by mutual friends, they dated from the time they were sixteen. They even jokingly had a pact that if neither of them were married by the time they were 30 years old, that they would marry each other.
After high school, Kristen moved up to New York and Kristoffer would come up and visit her. According to Kristoffer, the future of their relationship was solidified when Kristen cooked him “orgasmic” ribs for dinner. The easy-going nature of their relationship remained throughout their adult life.
But today, their relationship is not as easy-going. While both Kristoffer and Kristen said they love being parents, their new parental roles brought forward new tensions in their relationship. Kristoffer said that one of the reasons their relationship has always been so strong is due to his spontaneous nature.
“When you have three kids, you can’t really live a spontaneous life. There are aspects of our relationship and they’re completely new, and we still haven’t acclimated ourselves to, or made the necessary changes.” Kristoffer said about his relationship with his wife.
He said that while him and his wife are both wiling to make sacrifices in personal time for their children, it is harder for them to make those same sacrifices for their relationship. Kristoffer went on to explain, saying that they have to split their time between work and their children. And it’s hard enough to find enough time for each of them to have their own individual free time, let alone also finding time for them to spend together as a couple. Kristen said it was easier to achieve this when they had two children, but having a third child outnumbered the two parents.
“We used to spend 5pm to 9pm together, but now we spend five o’clock to nine o’clock [in the evening] chasing after the kids.” Kristoffer said with a laugh.
Both Kristoffer and Kristen said they look forward to striking a new balance in their relationship. One that allows them to find more time to be a couple, while still being “The Kris,” a parental unit that is devoted to hands-on parenting.